Life's an Awkward Beach
by goodgollymolly
Summary: The boys haven't been following the shirts on rule, and have the marks to prove it.  More awkwardness ensues when they try to hide them from Burt. T for minor language and a couple sexual references-no actual acts.


A/N: More awkwardness and boys getting in trouble! I also wanted to point out that this takes place during a guy's day out at a public beach-our boys didn't go tropical! I also want to give a great big internet hug to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/subscribed. You guys are amazing!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Glee.

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><p>"Kurt, take your shirt off now. We're at the beach for Christ sakes!" Burt Hummel was getting exasperated with Kurt.<p>

"Dad, I don't want to! It will ruin my skin. I have an appearance to maintain!"

Blaine came up behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around him, and whispering into his ear. "Come on, take your shirt off-I've seen you with it off and it's damn sexy."

Kurt blushed as Blaine kissed up his neck. "Dad, I need to talk to Blaine for a sec, okay?"

Burt squirmed for a second, a little embarrassed about Kurt and Blaine's PDA, then gruffly replied, "Sure-but no funny business!" Kurt and Blaine giggled as Burt went to tend to the grill.

Kurt spun around and snapped, "I can't take my shirt off!"

"Whoa," Blaine said, removing his hands from Kurt's hips, "if you don't want to, it's okay! No pressure."

"No," said Kurt tersely, "I can't because my dad would kill you!"

"What do you mean? He already said the shirtless rule didn't apply here, so don't worry."

"It's not that," Kurt hissed, "it's that he'll know that we haven't been following that rule in other places…say your car last night."

Realization dawned on Blaine's face. "Oh my God! Shit! Did I really leave a lot? I thought I was being careful, I am so so sorry!"

"I have a bite mark on my shoulder, not to mention the hickeys you left on my hips and chest…again."

At that moment, Burt came strolling back over. "Did you finish your little chat guys? Is Kurt ready to get rid of his shirt and hit the beach?"

"Burt," Blaine said, smiling, "Kurt has informed me of the rising rate of melanoma in the young population, and I feel that it would be irresponsible for him to take his shirt off, seeing how fair-skinned he is. He is at heightened risk for skin cancer, and I say that we should all applaud his initiative in keeping himself protected from the sun's deadly rays."

Burt looked from Blaine to Kurt, and tried to detect any sign of deception. Blaine was still grinning, and Kurt looked at him and smiled too.

"Kurt, what is the real reason you're not taking your shirt off? And don't give me that melanoma crap, I know you wear enough sun screen to keep that at bay."

"Mr. Hummel, I'm going to put a shirt on too! And wouldn't it make you feel better that Kurt and I both have shirts on? There'll be no funny business then." Blaine smiled earnestly, shaking his head.

Blaine moved to pick up his shirt off of the table, when he was stopped by Burt.

"Blaine," Burt asked through his teeth, "what are those?"

Kurt gasped. There were nail marks running up Blaine's back. They were dead. Blaine turned around, trying to see what they were both looking at.

"What? I don't see anything! What are you guys looking at?"

"Blaine," Kurt mumbled, "you have a little something on your back…like nail marks…running up and down your back"

Blaine's face went pale and he looked at Burt, seeing the anger rising in his face. Shit. He was going to die. He had survived the closet incident, only to risk his life again.

Finn came running up to them. "Hey guys! What's-whoa, Blaine what happened to your back?"

"What do you think happened, Finn?" Burt had turned bright red. "What always happens with the two of them?"

"Dudes!" Finn looked awestruck. "Do you ever stop?"

"Yes, we do Finn," Kurt retorted, "frankly, I think you might be a little jealous."

"Kurt," Burt growled, "you're on thin ice, buddy. Now would you please take off your shirt? We're at the beach, and you're so pale that the sun would do you some good...and I want to see what you're so worried about."

Kurt gulped and looked from Blaine to his dad, then back again. He really didn't want to do this, but he didn't see if he had any other choice.

"We're waiting, Kurt!" Burt had started to tap his toe on the sand.

Kurt sighed and pulled his t shirt over his head and heard the three other men gasp.

"You bit him? Why did you hurt him like that?" Finn shoved Blaine backwards.

"Finn! Don't hurt my boyfriend!"

"But he hurt you! He bit you!"

"Finn," Burt said, measured anger in his voice, "why don't you go back down into the water, Sam and Puck are waiting for you. And I have to talk to Blaine and Kurt. Again."

"Okay, okay! But, holy cow! Kurt has bruises on his hips too! And his chest-wait! Blaine has some too!"

They all looked back at Blaine, who was desperately trying to hike his swim trunks up to hide the bruises on his hips.

"Finn…just go," Burt said, sounding exasperated as he rubbed his temples, "just…go."

"Dad, I can explain-"

"Kid-I thought we had talked about this! You're supposed to keep your shirt on when you guys are…_together_."

"Well," Kurt murmured, "I thought those rules only applied in the house."

"What!" Burt exploded. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, sir-"

"You," Burt pointed at Blaine, "don't talk. It won't help."

Blaine looked like he was about to respond, then thought better of it and sat down on the bench of the picnic table. He buried his head in his hands.

"Dad, you never mentioned that the rules applied in Blaine's car…"

"You did all that in a car? Where everyone could see? What if you had been caught?"

"We're two consenting, loving, almost-adults who just wanted a little alone time! Is that so bad? Didn't you ever do that when you were my age?"

"That's beside the point!"

"No, it isn't! I love my boyfriend, and I want to be able to do what I want with him!"

"You're just a kid," Burt said quietly, "you're not old enough for this."

"Dad, I'm almost eighteen. I'm not doing anything illegal-and we're not doing anything like _that_ yet. We're not ready, we've both told you that."

"Okay kid," Burt replied gruffly, "I just worry about you is all."

"Me too dad, but Blaine really is pretty cool."

Blaine took his head out of his hands and smiled at Kurt. Kurt reached out and mussed his hair. "He's actually pretty dorky, but I do love him."

Blaine stuck his tongue out at him. "You're a dork," he replied, "but I love you too."

Kurt sat on Blaine's lap happily. "So you're not going to kill him, right dad?"

"Jury's still out, little guy. The hickeys on you are not very convincing evidence. Also, I'd like to note that I am thinking about joining the NRA and-"

"DAD!"

"Just kidding, jeez! Now I'm over to go and barbeque. I will be working with sharp tools to assemble the fruit salad, so I suggest that he," Burt motioned to Blaine, "stays away…or else I'm not liable for what happens!"

"DAD!"

"What? I didn't say what I'd do. It's not like I said I'd kill him…I'd just remove something. Maybe his tongue this time, since that seems to cause a lot of trouble."

"I could still suck without my tongue!"

Kurt and Burt turned to stare at him. He looked back at them clueless as to why they were staring.

"What?"

"I'm leaving," Burt announced, "before I hear something I shouldn't and I am compelled to commit a felony."

They watched Burt walk away and Kurt turned to Blaine and slapped his chest. "Why did you have to say that? He'll think we're doing…_stuff_."

"I meant that I could still give you a hickey!" Blaine rolled his eyes. "Why, what did you think I meant?"

"Think about what you said…sucking? Just think about it…"

"I'm thinking…I'm thinking…" a look of horror crossed Blaine's face, "Oh my God-he didn't think? No…right?"

"You're such a dork. But yeah, that's what he thought."

"And he didn't kill me? I'm surprised!"

"Just wait," Kurt said with a little smile, "he'll get you when you least expect it."


End file.
